Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Wake-Up Call

I’ve had a couple of days to digest what it means to have completed my first half marathon. Initially, it was just a relief to have it over. It wasn’t really all that big a deal. I was running 18km training runs in the fall, I had recovered from my July hamstring injury and was back in the saddle. There were even a couple of training runs where I hunted down the lead runners feeling confident about my abilities.

Then the weather turned cold, I upped the training regime, pushed the pace, in general got very aggressive with the training and paid for it. I ran a “race” in October on a bad ankle, heck I ran a race in July with a bad knee. Obviously I’m a slow learner.

Completing a half really didn’t register as an accomplishment, just a tick mark on a more important list of tasks to complete before crossing the starting line in Hopkinton.

In my mind, I was overdue. I should have run a 15km event in August. I should have been running my first half in October, not some lameass 10K event where the Race Director was smoking a cigarette on the starting line. I didn’t take any pride in the fact I won the event. Not my age group, the event. No one was even close to me at the finish. To me, my time sucked, the event sucked, my ankle hurt, what a waste of time. In hindsight, what a diva I’d become.

I carried that mindset with me the whole winter. I’m behind schedule.

I continued to have injury issues, right side, left side, backside. Wait a minute, the backside injury was self inflicted. I was continually kicking myself in the ass for being so fragile.

I took too long to get help. That was foolish pride. I expected too much once I got help. That was ignorance.

Now I think, I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Last night I learned a valuable life lesson from a fellow runner. It’s not about the results. It’s not about how well you perform. It’s not about whether you qualify. It’s about being in the moment. If you’re doing something that you love, love it when you’re doing it.

I’ve accomplished some amazing things in the past 18 months.

I’ve more than managed to keep off the weight I’ve lost.

I’m eating better. I’m healthier. I’m stronger.

I’m running times and distances I never imagined possible.

Boston isn’t a dream, it’s a goal. An achievable goal.

I ran a half marathon. That’s right, I ran it.

It’s a moment to remember.

A memory to cherish.

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